Mum

I wish I wrote her the day before or the day of, I would have said something like: Hi Ma, It was great to see you at Phoebe’s graduation. We are really looking forward to seeing you this summer in Redding- should we plan a tea party? She probably would have been thinking about the tea party while on the tractor. Oh the burden of unfinished business. I think no matter how long the person is alive, no matter when they leave us or we leave them, it is never enough time. Or as I recently heard Alex Orbison say, in speaking of his late father Roy Orbison on the 25th Anniversary of Mystery Girl, "When someones gone, no matter how much longer they would have been with you, well it wouldn't have been long enough." But I will say, even if you are not getting along with your parent you can still send emails- I did force myself (since I wasn't feeling very loving on account of our relations) to send her a loving note and photos for Mother’s Day. One of my biggest regrets is not sending her email about Stephen Colbert’s video tribute to his mother who had just passed earlier in June. I knew she’d appreciate the video but I wanted to watch it again and send a note about why exactly I was sending it, to mask the elephant in the room of her impending death (atleast in my mind I feared she wouldn't be with us much longer). So I waited and wouldn't send it until I had time to watch it again and find the right wording. If I had sent it, I might have written something like, "Sending you Stephen Colbert's tribute to his mother since we both like him and since it is such a nice tribute to an amazing woman and a mother so dedicated to her children. Thought you could relate.," effectively blending my need to send her love and gratitude while feeling some resentment and a distance. Read more....